It’s the start of a brand new year and many of us are determined to make the very best of it after the past few years we’ve had. Resolutions are often seen as the best way to make a fresh start and a new beginning. They are also notorious for failing a few months or even a few weeks in. Why is this and why is it essential to understand when those resolutions are often around making better choices for our health? How do you turn a resolution into a real, lasting habit?
First, it’s important to realize that failure is a normal part of the learning process. You are changing your behavior and doing something new. It is ok to have some slipups. We don’t usually expect to learn a new skill without some mistakes along the way. Changing a pattern of behavior is very similar. The key is to not give up on your new change after the first setback. Whether it’s walking an extra mile each day or getting more fruits and veggies into your diet, a new year's resolution needs to be supported by other structural characteristics in your life. A helpful rule of thumb is the Rule of Three R’s. Your resolution needs to be reasonable, repeatable and reinforced by your other life choices.
For example, if you want to eat more veggies but you don’t know any recipes you enjoy with vegetables, you might have a hard time incorporating this habit into your life without any other changes. Just trying to munch on raw veggies everyday, may be the fastest track to swinging into Taco Bell as soon as possible. Instead, if you find a few dishes you really enjoy and make them at the beginning of the week, it becomes a lot easier to eat veggies everyday that week. It’s repeatable and reasonable to continue to eat these meals you enjoy and are already prepared. Learning the veggies that make you feel the best and have the most energy (and are the most tasty) reinforces the reason behind why eating the veggies is important.
That highlights another big piece of resolutions. It’s not just important to know why something is important generally but knowing your “why.” You may have heard that we all need to eat healthy and exercise more but why is that important for you specifically. Until you know the answer to that question and really dig down into your purpose for incorporating this new practice, there will be some level of depth missing from your personal investment in holding onto this change.
For example, you may know you want to sleep more in general and even take steps to pursue that but why? You might say, “because it will benefit my health.” Ok, but what specifically will more sleep do for you? Well, it will improve my memory and brain function and give me more energy throughout the day. Nice, and what will that do for you? “Oh, well, I’ll be more efficient in my job and have more energy to spend with my husband when I get home instead of immediately crashing.” Ok, now we are getting somewhere. Dig a little deeper! “If I do consistently well in my job, I will have a better chance at the promotion I want next quarter. I could also invest more time into my partner in the ways that I want. Ok, cool. So NOW the new habit of getting more sleep is directly tied to your goal of investing in your love life and earning a promotion! Yes, it’s still healthier for you but that’s a pretty vague reason when it comes to motivation. Lots of things are healthy alternatives that we have zero motivation to pursue. Our goals must be tied directly to something that has specific and quantifiable value to us personally.